The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about.
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?
Having a two-year-old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for.
My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me.
You're always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.
Great acting is being able to create a character. Great character is being able to be yourself.
In the early years you fight because you don't understand each other. In later years, you fight because you do.
I can't die. It would wreck my image.
A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing.
Getting fired is nature's way of telling you that you had the wrong job in the first place.
People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Sometimes the path you're on is not as important as the direction you're heading.
When people ask me how old I am, I tell them I'm 39 – with 25 years of experience.
-Chuck Norris
I'd rather be a few pounds heavier and enjoy life than be worried all the time.